Believing in ourselves is a synonym for confidence and self-esteem. I prefer this term because it is more descriptive, and feels active, as opposed to passive.

Based on the spiritual presupposition that we all came into this life perfect* and because we know we are energetic, vibrating, eternal, spiritual beings of light and love, why should there ever be a reason to doubt ourselves?

 *Perfect for the tasks and objectives we put forth in our Sacred Contract.

 

We Forgot

Maybe the trauma of birth alone is enough to make us forget who and what we really are? Maybe we choose to forget before we reincarnated into this life? Maybe we remember but are ‘programmed’ to think differently?

Because we’ve forgotten, we look for validation through achievements that provide evidence that we are:

  • Valuable
  • Useful
  • Talented
  • Skillful
  • Capable
  • Dependable
  • Trustworthy
  • Loyal [more added on site]

 

What Do We Need?

We need opportunities to prove these qualities and we need the preparation required to take on the tasks.

The path to these opportunities must be allowed and encouraged through:

  • exploration of strengths, skills, talents and gifts
  • freedom to make choices, decisions and mistakes, and learn from them
  • being heard/listened to/to feel like you count or matter = validation/self-esteem
  • (It can also be developed by overcoming.)

 

The preparation required is the responsibility of the caregivers of the developing human. The following skills need to be provided:  (delivered, encouraged, allowed, taught, and/or modeled)

  • Skills for Overcoming Challenges, Fear and Pain which prepare the developing human for the upcoming stage/transition in their life (including most of the following)
  • Self-soothing/coping strategies/self-control, including anger management
  • Preparation (role-playing, rehearsal, practice, writing scripts), education
  • Problem solving, decision making, critical thinking
  • Self-motivation
  • Self-discipline/delayed gratification/impulse control
  • Develop perseverance and resilience; handling rejection, mistakes and “failures”
  • Self-respect/responsibility/accountability/integrity
  • Self-trust/self-reliance/self-sufficient and the ability to self-protect
  • Personal capabilities: discovery of skills, strengths, gifts, and talents, as well as accepting or changing weaknesses
  • Social and communication skills
  • Self-awareness; knowing what you believe and think and choosing those that are in your highest interest.
  • Self-acceptance can begin if modeled and taught/guided (comfortable in your own skin via self-awareness)
  • Beliefs/values/faith

 

All of the above mental/emotional/behavioral accomplishments add to developing of self-esteem. If they weren’t received, we need to:

  • heal our beliefs
  • heal our needs through self-delivery
  • grieve the losses
  • move on to the next phase

 

We all have different levels of need, priorities and values, as do the people whose approval we may be seeking to substantiate our belief in ourselves. These affect what it’s going to take to achieve confidence.

As we’ve already discussed, if your beliefs tell you differently, outside opinions and validations will not break through the wall of limiting beliefs and provide you with an external source of confidence you require.

Maybe we just need to remember!

Or

Just choose to believe!

 

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

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