I gave you a brief introduction to the phases of needs a few days ago. Today, I will present the full explanation. But first, I want to provide you with the phases chart again to refer to.

[Developing Phase (Developing Human)] (Independent Human)

Dependent Phase Preparation Phase Productive Phase

Birth————————│——————————— │ —————————-

Exploration Phase

[———————————————————————————————–

Understanding Phases of Needs

The phases designate responsibility for the individual and their caregivers. If the caregivers can perceive, not a child but an dependent or developing human, they can perceive their needs much clearer. “My child” denotes possession. We do not possess our children, they have been entrusted to our care; we are stewards of their safety, security and preparation for becoming independent humans with the skills we have allowed and encouraged.

The needs of the phases (see introduction) provide us with a glimpse of what we should have received; deserved to receive. Therefore, they tell us what we may have missed out on that may have negatively impacted us and what we may need to address now.

All phases overlap with the next and the previous. There is no clear “graduation.” *

We generally graduate from dependent to productive when we move out of our caregivers’ home and become financially independent, which may be before the age of 26 and thus, still developing.

The dependent phase is a diminishing phase. The quality and extent of the preparation and exploration phases allowed, thus, still remaining somewhat dependent, regardless of age.

During the dependent phase, we have to rely on others to meet all our needs; our very survival depends on them. But our survival requires more than just our physical needs being met. We need them to meet our emotional and relational needs as well because they will determine our well-being for a long time to come.

Sometimes their stress, sleep deprivation, and/or problems not only interfere with getting what we need, but also teach us lessons that negatively impact our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, the world, and our place in it. Developing human needs depend upon caregivers. The developing human may seek satisfaction of needs but they can be thwarted or just denied.

As infants, we are obviously completely dependent upon our caregiver(s) for everything. By around one year of age, we develop enough gross motor control to crawl, stand and then walk. Here we gain our first measure of independence and the ability to begin exploration. Around the same age, we begin to talk; so we can now ask for what we need. We will soon be able to ask questions in order to gain knowledge.

The whole of the developing phase must include:

  • self-discovery
  • exploration
  • developing a healthy identity/self-image
  • developing confidence in oneself and ones abilities
  • gaining self sufficiency/reliance

However, while we are still financially and housing-dependent, even in the preparation phase, others can interfere with us achieving any or all of these. Thus, we may either fail to begin or have difficulty during the productive phase.

Individual responsibility during the preparation phase includes

  • education
  • learning
  • growing
  • exploration
  • developing self-everything

However, it seems incomprehensible (actually, it seems like poor planning or design) that the preparation phase is a time:

  • Of confusion, fluctuation and lack of control due to neurological, mental, physical, sexual, hormonal, and emotional development
  • When we are so susceptible to being hurt and changed by others through neglect, abuse and abandonment
  • When we are so susceptible to:
    • being programmed by others due to peer-pressure, conditioning, or forced as means of survival
    • to act the way they want us to act
    • to believe what they believe and act the way they act (modeling)
  • When we are susceptible to believing other people when they tell us what we need.
  • During which our identity/self-image is being formed and potentially destroyed by other people’s opinions; it becomes a reflection of what other people say about you. You become a reflection of what other people say about you
  • When we’re expected to lay the groundwork for creating our future, before we are mentally able to plan for and predict the consequences of our actions.

The human brain, specifically the frontal lobe or frontal cortex, is not fully developed until around twenty-six years of age. The frontal cortex is the most evolved part of the brain and it is responsible for the following functions: [This was originally presented in the self-forgiveness post.]

  • Self-discipline
  • Maintaining focused attention
  • Long-term planning
  • Evaluating long-term consequences
  • Thought control
  • Managing emotions
  • Healthy decision making/choice
  • Impulse control
  • Delayed gratification
  • Frustration tolerance
  • Good judgment

The responsibility of the caregiver(s) during the entire developing phase is to prepare the developing human for the productive phase. They do this by supplying them with everything they need to become self-sufficient, self-trusting, self-respectful, and believe they are worthy of love, success, and joy.

During the productive phase, responsibility becomes the primary focus for many. If one does not explore enough, and discover their authentic self and their true passions, they will likely experience a “mid-life crisis” at any age.

The exploration phase is about knowledge and experience. It is about finding out who and what you are, what you really need, what you are really good at, what you love, and what feeds your soul.

*I wish I had known that there was an exploration phase, and that the responsibilities of the productivity phase often preclude continued exploration in many areas. For this reason, I believe that the developing human should know about them as early as possible, and that these terms should be used in reference to many of their questions.

That covers the phases. Next we will explore the origin, delivery and evolution of needs.

Please feel free to ask any questions or share your concerns and comments.

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

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