In Recognizing Abandonment, I intended to expose previously unrecognized issues that require healing. Now, let’s take a look at loss.

What Is Loss?

Loss is an absence, deficit, something you were robbed of, something that was taken from you and/or something you were denied or rejected.

We are all at different places in our lives, so we will all be affected differently by any of these situations.

All Losses Must Be Recognized.

Anything you can have, get, buy, want, dream of, plan for, work for, or create, can be lost.

Anything you get attached to can be lost; such as labels, titles, outcomes, money, and beliefs.

Anything you didn’t get as a developing human that you should have is considered ‘lost.’

[There are also ego losses* and these are usually hard lessons coming after many simpler opportunities to ‘get it.’]

Any One Event May Create Multiple Losses.

I will attempt to show some of the associated losses, but too many would get confusing and require a chart!  (For example, a loss of job may bring with it a loss of status, income, security, reputation, identity, and/or dream or perceived purpose.

Many are very obvious, but there are losses you might not know about that you may need to grieve.

Unrecognized, (and therefore, ungrieved) losses can negatively impact your life.

Subconsciously, unrecognized and unhealed losses from childhood (needs not met) will continue to be sought after even if it is no longer in your best interest.

An unresolved loss may reside within your subconscious as limiting beliefs and surface with triggers and self-sabotage to protect you from the pain of further loss.

So, it is in your best interest to recognize them, and then grieve the ones you need to, forgive where necessary, and let it go; make room for new blessings to enter.

Obvious Losses (generally recognized)

  1. Physical Death of a Loved One  (including miscarriage)
  2. Loss of Physical Function (i.e. chronic illness, disease, loss of a mobility, a limb or one of the senses, the ability to procreate)
  3. Loss of a Friendship or a Relationship (for the dumper and the dumped)
  4. Loss of a Job (whether you were fired, quit, resigned, retired, or let go)
  5. Loss of Companionship: someone to talk to, confide in, have fun with, and be your authentic self with.

More Subtle Losses:

  1. Loss of Your Childhood:

Too much responsibility too early and anything that makes one grow up too soon, such as abuse, neglect or abandonment. This is a loss of innocence, a sense of wonder and a loss of blissful ignorance.

  1. Loss of Innocence: Generally, includes loss of trust, security, and/or certainty
  • A history of abuse, abandonment or neglect,
  • Learning some ‘ugly’ truth or having a long held belief proven untrue before you were old enough to handle it,
  • Having too much responsibility thrust upon you at a young age.

3.  Loss of a Dream (A plan, a promotion, etc. = expectations)

Grieving makes way for acceptance that this dream will not be fulfilled, for yourself, for others, a scholarship, a career, a loan, of fame,  a business, or a relationship.

This includes loss of the notion having perfect parents or the perfect family, learning of infertility, having a child with a disability or illness, and having a transgender or homosexual child.

You must grieve the loss of your expectation of and your expectations for a perfect or ‘normal’ child, so you can open your heart to what is and all you do have.

Continued in Part 2.

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

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