Why is it all so hard? What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Why is there so much suffering and pain? In this post, I will continue the discussion of the many mental, psychological and behavioral answers to these questions.

7. Failure to Heal the Past

If the traumas of the past are still fresh in your mind, the wounds created there continue to trigger your hurts and color your perception of reality. The past must be healed, let go of and forgiven.

8. Failure to Evolve Past Childhood Needs

What we needed as children should evolve into different needs with more self-delivery as an “adult.” However, when our needs weren’t met as in our childhood, we tend to continue searching for satisfaction of those needs in adulthood. We also continue to look for other people to satisfy our needs. We must evolve to a self-delivery model: meet our needs for ourselves. We must heal, let go, and forgive if we are to evolve.

9. Excess and/or Deficient Levels of Needs

The terms high-maintenance and low-maintenance explain this concept the best. Requiring too much or too little of yourself and others will lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment.

10. Failure to Learn Healthy, Productive Coping Strategies

Obviously, if we don’t have healthy, productive coping strategies we are not really coping with our painful emotions. We are only distracting, avoiding and escaping from them. They never go away until they are dealt with, head on and healed. Coping strategies are only temporary measures.

Please refer to my post on Life Maximizing Strategies if you want more information on this subject.

11. Inability to Delay Gratification

Wanting what you want when you want it doesn’t generally work in adulthood and leads to a lot of disappointment and pain.

12. Chasing Your Wants

When you go after getting what you want, your will never be satisfied unless you are sure your wants are not driven by your ego. The goals of the ego were summarized in Part 1, and those goals will never make you happy. You will continue to feel a void that cannot be filled. Seeking to satisfy your needs, however, will fill that void.

13. Lack of Self-Acceptance and Low Self-Esteem

The effects and pain of low self-esteem are common. Please refer to my series of posts on Self-Acceptance starting with this one if you want more information on this subject.

14. Taking Things Personally

Take things personally creates thoughts and feelings of hurt, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, and anger.  Learning how not to take things personally requires the completion of a series of mental achievements. (I am already working on this post. So look for it soon.)

15.  Desperate to be Loved and/or

The desperate, single-minded search for someone to complete you causes great pain. It makes people jealous, envious, and often angry at others who have what they want. It can destroy friendships and block the perception of other wonderful things going on them. One may isolate, date compulsively or sign up for multiple dating sites. All your time can be immersed in this single pursuit. Imaging what else you’re missing.

But you don’t’ seem to realize that it’s very easy to achieve – by loving yourself.

If this describes you, please read my posts on completing yourself and do the self-acceptance exercises to start loving yourself.

16. Thinking You Are In Control and Blaming Others for Your Life Circumstances

Control is an illusion. The sooner we accept that we only have control over what we think, say and do, the sooner our life will become easier. Conversely, no one else controls what we think, say, feel, or do; it is all our choice. No one can make you do anything as an adult. We choose what we do, how we react or respond, and what we say.

We can’t blame people for how they make us feel. Our perception, level of consciousness and personal control is up to us. And some things that happen to us that we perceive as “bad” and the fault of someone else may be blessings in disguise.

17. Negativity

One of the major lessons of a human existence is releasing negativity. When we refuse to do so, we suffer. Complaining about what was, and focusing in what’s missing and what’s wrong leaves a very small widow for living.

18. Believing You Are Alone

This is a very common feeling, but it is an illusion that causes a tremendous amount of loneliness and pain. We are all connected and we are all connected to our Source. We are never alone.

19. Not Listening to Your Body

Not recognizing the messages of the physical body: not accepting the mind-body connection causes unnecessary pain. Please refer to my post on Listening to Your Body if you want more information on this subject.

All of the issues listed above (and in Part 1) contribute to blocked, weak and/or stagnant energy in our chakras and energy bodies. The pain caused by these issues is a message from our bodies to heal the emotional and mental issues causing it.

Obviously, the end of personal suffering will be found in resolving and/or releasing the issues above along with the rest of the issues in Parts 1 and 2. Part 3 will cover all the answers from a higher perspective, which can just be accepted and integrated into your belief system.

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

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