12 Things You Can Do Instead of Yelling

Posted by on June 28, 2013 | 7 comments

12 Things You Can Do Instead of Yelling

I am posting this to my facebook page but I didn’t want you to miss it.

(Use will depend on the situation and how aware you are at the moment.)

You can mix and match, and combine!

  1. Get Control

      Hold up your index finger.

      Look down.

      Breathe in deeply through your nose.

      Hold it for the length of the breath in.

      Let it out very slowly through your mouth.

      (HLBHL –Hold, Look, Breathe, Hold, Let it out)

      Continue this cycle of breathing and repeat to yourself,

      “I am in control of my temper.

      I choose to handle this situation consciously, not reactively.

      I have the power to improve my relationships.”

  1. Excuse yourself from the situation.

      “Excuse me. I am working on not yelling and I need a few moments.”

      Take the time to calm the feeling that triggered the adrenaline surge that triggered the urge to yell. Repeat:

      “I am in control of my emotions and my behavior.        

      I choose to behave in a way that improves the situation for all people  involved.”

  1. Refer to the rule being broken and the consequence of such; no discussion is necessary.

      For families and significant others: If house or relationship rules have not been created, set up a time to do that after this situation cools. All people involved need to create rules (boundaries) and agree to consequences if someone doesn’t do what their supposed to do or what they said they would do. When these are agreed upon, written and posted, no discussion is necessary.

  1. If it’s a power struggle, give a choice. Negotiate. Look for the win-win!
  2. Express your needs*.
  3. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
  4. Ask nicely, using please. Do not tell anyone else what to do.
  5. Remind yourself that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools, knowledge and presence of mind they have at any given moment.
  6. Understand that behaviors are driven by needs and wants. Examine yours AND theirs.
  7. Remember that anger is an outward expression of fear, hurt/pain or frustration. Look to heal!
  8. Remember that every “problem” is an opportunity to learn and grow, or to teach. See this situation from a higher perspective. Look for the lesson or the message.
  9. Remind yourself: I am a powerful, vibrating, creative being and I choose what I attract into my life with the vibrations I send out. (Laws of  Vibration and Attraction)

*This must be a true need, not a need of your unhealthy ego or an unmet need from your childhood.

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

Copyright © 2013 Indigo Sky, LLC; All Rights Reserved



    • Hi Mago, I think that these things will work for that too. Anger needs time to subside.
      Walk away and take deep breaths in and out through your left nostril. Give that a try!

  2. What’s up, just wanted to mention, I enjoyed this blog
    post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

    • Thank you, Iesha. I am grateful for your comment and that this post helped you. Please come back and visit again soon.
      May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

  3. My pleasure, Cleo. Please come back and visit again soon.
    May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
    With Love,

  4. You could definitely see your skills in the article you write.
    The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe.

    At all times go after your heart.

    • Thank you so much, Maximilian. Please come back and visit again soon.
      May you receive and perceive all your blessings.
      With Much Love,
      Rev. Michele

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