12 Things You Can Do Instead of Yelling
I am posting this to my facebook page but I didn’t want you to miss it.
(Use will depend on the situation and how aware you are at the moment.)
You can mix and match, and combine!
- Get Control
Hold up your index finger.
Breathe in deeply through your nose.
Hold it for the length of the breath in.
Let it out very slowly through your mouth.
(HLBHL –Hold, Look, Breathe, Hold, Let it out)
Continue this cycle of breathing and repeat to yourself,
“I am in control of my temper.
I choose to handle this situation consciously, not reactively.
I have the power to improve my relationships.”
- Excuse yourself from the situation.
“Excuse me. I am working on not yelling and I need a few moments.”
Take the time to calm the feeling that triggered the adrenaline surge that triggered the urge to yell. Repeat:
“I am in control of my emotions and my behavior.
I choose to behave in a way that improves the situation for all people involved.”
- Refer to the rule being broken and the consequence of such; no discussion is necessary.
For families and significant others: If house or relationship rules have not been created, set up a time to do that after this situation cools. All people involved need to create rules (boundaries) and agree to consequences if someone doesn’t do what their supposed to do or what they said they would do. When these are agreed upon, written and posted, no discussion is necessary.
- If it’s a power struggle, give a choice. Negotiate. Look for the win-win!
- Express your needs*.
- Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
- Ask nicely, using please. Do not tell anyone else what to do.
- Remind yourself that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools, knowledge and presence of mind they have at any given moment.
- Understand that behaviors are driven by needs and wants. Examine yours AND theirs.
- Remember that anger is an outward expression of fear, hurt/pain or frustration. Look to heal!
- Remember that every “problem” is an opportunity to learn and grow, or to teach. See this situation from a higher perspective. Look for the lesson or the message.
- Remind yourself: I am a powerful, vibrating, creative being and I choose what I attract into my life with the vibrations I send out. (Laws of Vibration and Attraction)
*This must be a true need, not a need of your unhealthy ego or an unmet need from your childhood.
May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
With Much Love,
Copyright © 2013 Indigo Sky, LLC; All Rights Reserved