Why Is There An Epidemic Of Low Self-Esteem?
Why Is There An Epidemic Of Low Self-Esteem?
Eleanor Roosevelt said, most profoundly, “No one can make us feel inferior without our consent.” It took me a long while to understand this.
As previously discussed, our emotional needs as a developing human are delivered to us by an external source; they can be:
- Delivered directly (received/provided or taught)
- Indirectly (allowed/developed or modeled)
- or both.
During the dependent phase, the caregiver’s responsibility is more about providing needs to the developing human, and in the preparation phase, it is more about allowing of needs. It is the caregiver’s responsibility to prepare the developing human for the productivity phase.
However, we have to be able to receive what is being provided for us.
There are beliefs that can block us from receiving.
We all have beliefs; some of them we’re aware of and others we aren’t. We learned many of our beliefs about ourselves by how we were treated and how others reacted to us. Some things were trained to believe, while others you may have inherited by force, adopted by default or chosen to fit in.
Regardless of whether we know about them or not, they have a major impact on how our lives take shape and run. They affect us either positively or negatively. The good news is we can choose our beliefs!
By becoming aware of all our beliefs and deciding which ones help us and which ones hider or hurt us, we can change the course of our lives. We can let go of those that don’t serve us; ones that may have served a purpose earlier in our lives to keep us safe, and ones that were never helpful in the first place.
For many years I harbored some very negative and very destructive and therefore, limiting beliefs about myself and my life. Maybe you’re familiar with some of them.
- I’m not good enough to …
- I’m not attractive enough to …
- I’m not smart enough to…
- Life is pain.
- I won’t be complete until I find my “soul mate.”
- No one will ever love me. (I was referring to romantic love only.)
- Nobody understands me.
- Bad things always happen to me.
- Anything that can go wrong will go wrong; aka Murphy’s Law (I had even nicknamed myself Murphy.)
I was never told I was ugly or stupid, or any of the other things either. Although my parents provided for all my emotional needs, I didn’t develop self-esteem.
I interpreted every action others made toward me through the eyes of my own self-consciousness and self-disgust.
I was basing my beliefs on the perceptions of my experiences only; perceptions and experiences created by an introvert in pain and collected in only a few short years.
Some may call it Law of Attraction or the Law of Cause and Effect. Psychologists would call it a psychological imperative where we behave in a way that makes our outer world match our inner beliefs.
Whatever you want to call it, your thoughts and your beliefs are creating your experience of your life.
I’ve come to see that one belief is probably the source of all the others.
I’m not good enough.
This is the most destructive belief of all.
If you’re holding this belief, it is blocking you from receiving and allowing many of the blessings you actually wish for in your life.
When you hold this belief you may push away people or blessings with your behavior (consciously or unconsciously). We do this because we don’t feel worthy, of their attention, admiration or love. You may be blocking:
- The nurturing you need
- To feel loved
- The support you need
- To feel secure
- Validation for who you are (compliments)
- To get the help you need
- To feel heard
- The confidence that comes with a job well done
(It is probably even blocking you from perceiving the truth of your existence; recognizing the spiritual perfection at the core of you.)
If you don’t’ receive these things, you will not develop self-esteem and confidence.
So, low self-esteem may be caused by external influences or lack of, but it also may be caused by the wall erected by your own beliefs that won’t let it in.
We can continue to believe what harms and hinders us or we can choose to believe what helps us to achieve emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being. You can choose to adopt beneficial beliefs.
Come back soon to see the conclusion The Two Beneficial Beliefs You Can CHOOSE to Create Confidence and Course-Correct Your Life.
Please leave you stories, comments or questions below.
May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
With Much Love,
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