What Do I Believe?

Posted by on June 27, 2012 | 22 comments

What Do I Believe?

We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.

Anaïs Nin

 

When I was a teenager, I nicknamed myself Murphy, as in Murphy’s Law. Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong will. I was never surprised when something went wrong and would often say or think “Murphy strikes again.” I don’t know if it was the Law of Attraction or what’s called a psychological imperative (subconsciously creating a reality that matches your beliefs to prove you are right), but believing in Murphy’s Law created my reality of things going wrong. This belief and the label were part of my awareness. Most of us are aware of names we call ourselves but most of our beliefs are unknown to us.

Where do our beliefs and self-labels come from?

They may originate with painful or traumatic experiences at any age, but many of them were created in childhood or adolescence. They were may have been inherited or adopted from our parents/caregivers, who may have:

-taught them to us directly – indoctrinated us

-modeled them through their actions and we adopted them because the were our  teachers, our heroes

-programmed us to believe the repeated criticisms thrust at us (For me, repeated complements from anyone including my parents didn’t stick as beliefs, only the negative comments did, even if I only heard them once.) 

There were some self-labels, including Murphy, which I gave to myself; so it may be the same for you. If you were teased or felt self-conscious about part of you, you may have started calling yourself names. This is the epitome of self-abuse or self-bullying.

Know that opinions are often wrong; yours and everyone else’s!

Why is it important to identify your internal labels and beliefs? Because they affect the way you engage with people and the world in general; they affect your reactions, your feelings and your thoughts. They color your perceptions of reality, your ability to listen accurately and create habitual behaviors that may have helped you in your developing years, or helped you survive ongoing trauma but probably do not serve you now. Your beliefs and internal labels create expectations and can be sabotaging your relationships, your level of personal, professional and relational success. Figuring out what you believe and what you consider yourself is worthy of your contemplation.

There was a commercial a few years ago where a young woman comes running in the kitchen announcing to her parents “I just got into the best college.” Take two captions “This is what dad heard.”- “I just got into the most expensive college.” This is a dad whose perception is colored by financial worries.

Do you  know what you believe? About yourself? About other people? About life? About how the world works?

I’ve compiled a list of common beliefs and internal labels that are unhealthy, unproductive and most importantly UNTRUE. Which ones ‘ring true’ for you? (I encourage you to write them down or print them out.)

  • I’m not good enough
  • Nothing ever goes my way
  • I can’t win.
  • I’m stupid.
  • I’m a loser
  • I’m a freak.
  • I never get what I want.
  • I’m useless.
  • I’m a failure.
  • I am worthless/not worthy.
  • I am hopeless.
  • I am unlovable/not lovable.
  • I’m such a disappointment.
  • I won’t amount to anything.
  • No one will ever love me.
  • I’ll die alone.
  • I can’t do anything right.
  • Nobody cares about me
  • It’s always my fault.
  • The world/other people’s lives would be better off without me.
  • Nobody understands me
  • I’m a terrible person. I deserve what I get.
  • I’m useless, a waste of space (or sperm; harsh, I know, but I heard it)
  • I am a victim.
  • I am powerless.
  • I am weak.
  • I am helpless.
  • Money is the root of all evil. (Actually, love of money is the quote.)
  • Poor is poor.
  • Success = being rich, and being rich = money.
  • I’ll never have enough money
  • Life is hard.
  • Life is suffering.
  • Suffering is good for the soul.
  • The world is a dangerous place.
  • People can’t be trusted.
  • Asking for help is a sign of weakness.
  • Children should be seen and not heard.
  • Nothing ever changes.
  • People don’t change. (You can’t teach an old dog new tricks- but an old dog can choose to learn new tricks!)
  • I’ll be happy when…
  • Everything that happens is random.
  • Good guys finish last.
  • I can change other people.
  • I can control other people.
  • I won’t be complete until I find my “soul mate.”
  • The pain of loss is too great to risk loving people.
  • Why bother loving people when they will just leave me?
  • Why bother asking for help or what I need when no one cares about me?
  • Good times and success never last.
  • Bad news always follows good.

These words/beliefs definitely mirror someone else.

  • I’ll never amount to anything.
  • It’s always my fault.
  • I’m useless, a waste of space or sperm.
  • I can’t do anything right.
  • Suffering is good for the soul.
  • Crying is a sign of weakness.
  • Showing feelings is a sign of weakness.
  • Children should be seen and not heard.

If you were victimized, abused or traumatized as a child, you may carry one or more of the following beliefs:

  • I will always be a victim; I must deserve it
  • I will never be a victim again, so I will get them first.
  • I can’t trust anyone, so I will not get involved.
  • No one can protect me, I can’t protect myself. I am not safe
  • Abuse is attention; attention is love, so abuse is love.
  • Keeping quiet keeps me safe.

Were you told directly or made to feel any of the above listed beliefs? If so, unless you consciously went about disproving and changing theses opinions, you probably carry them around with you, as part of your inner dialogue or self-talk, which direct your feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and level of success (in relationships, jobs and personal development or goals for change).

As a productive step in your personal development, I encourage you to do the following:

-Look back at each of the beliefs or labels that ‘rang true’ for you, one at a time, and imagine how holding this belief or label affects how you see yourself, others and the world – how it affects your perception, reactions, feelings, and thoughts..

-Now, look back at each of the beliefs or labels that ‘rang true’ for you, one at a time, and imagine how holding the opposite of this belief or label would change how you see yourself, others and the world – how it would change your perception, reactions, feelings, and thoughts.* These counter beliefs or labels will become your affirmations in order to help you reprogram your beliefs.

In my opinion, there are two types of beliefs and labels: beneficial ones and limiting ones.

Mantras and affirmations, when done regularly, can reprogram your brain and become your new beliefs or labels. This is how brainwashing works. By changing your unhealthy and unproductive beliefs and labels, you can return love to your mind, heart and spirit, and to your life and relationships. So, why not program yourself to believe things that are productive and healthy and promote peace and love?

*If you need help coming up with opposites, let me know and I’ll be happy to help, but I will be posting counter beliefs (which are actually affirmations) soon. Creating the opposites for labels should be easier.

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

Copyright © 2012 Indigo Sky, LLC; All Rights Reserved

 

22 Comments

  1. Marvelous, what a website this is! It provides useful information, keep it up.

    • A million thanks for posting this information.

      • well done! 🙂

      • very interesting post

      • great post!!!

      • nice posting.

      • great post!

  2. ANGELS assist us in connecting with a powerful yet gentle force, which encourages us to live life to it’s fullest. Denise Linn

    • I am in total agreement. One of my newest prayers or blessings that I send to others is ‘May you heed the wisdom of your angels.’ Thank you for your insight.

      • Whoa, things just got a whole lot easier. thanks

        • thought-provoking post. thanks

        • Interesting post!

      • This is what I needed. Thank you.

        • How awesome!

    • Insghits like this liven things up around here.

      • good post

      • Thanks for the help!!

  3. That’s an ingenious way of thinking about it.

    • great post!

    • Thanks for the tips.

  4. This websie was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me.
    Kudos!

    • I am most grateful, Dianne. Blessings to you and yours. Please come back soon. With much love, Rev. Michele

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