My Last Letter to My Dad
The following is the last letter I wrote to my dad. I wrote it after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He passed away due to complications from the pancreatic cancer surgery a few months later.
The reason I wrote a letter instead of talking with him is because, knowing him as I did, I knew he would be resistant and defensive, and I would never get out all the information I felt could help him. I am sharing this letter in the hopes that it may help someone else who is having issues with their pancreas, knows someone who does or recognizes the characteristics and can prevent this outcome.
I’m writing this to you with all the love and gratitude I have for you in my heart and all the wishes and prayers I hold for you in my mind and spirit. Please know that there is no intention other than to share with you what I have learned, what I believe and what I have become.
In Reincarnation Theory, it is believed that before we are reborn we choose the parents to be born to based on the lessons we want to or need to learn, or the changes we need to make in the family patterns. Therefore, you chose your parents for the lessons they could teach you; lessons as to who to be or who not to be, what to do or what not to do, or to teach them. One of the main spiritual lessons in life is forgiveness; forgiveness of ourselves, of others, and of the world and life itself. Every person who betrayed you, disappointed you and/or hurt you presented you with an opportunity to practice forgiveness.
Spiritual law dictates that if you don’t get the lesson the first time it is presented to you, you will keep receiving opportunities until you do. So, we actually need to thank those who presented us with those opportunities.
Through her passivity, your mother taught you to stand up for yourself. That, I believe, was your lesson. It was not a lesson in how to hold a grudge. It was not a lesson in anger, resentment or bitterness; toxic emotions are never the lessons. You do not honor your mother by holding grudges for her. You do not honor her memory by poisoning yourself with anger, resentment and bitterness. You do not honor her by poisoning yourself with the cancer that is Unforgiveness.
Where do you presume we “hold” a grudge? We hold it in our bodies; our bodies are our teachers and pain or dis-ease in the body holds a message. In energy medicine, dis-ease is caused by low, stagnant or blocked energy/vibrations, which are caused by painful emotions. If you don’t release the painful emotions contaminating your body, whatever the doctors do for you will only be temporary, because the cause will remain and some other dis-ease will appear to again try to teach you the lesson of release.
Another spiritual lesson, and a very easy way to increase your vibrational energy, is through expressing and feeling gratitude. Since the pancreas represents the sweetness in life, dis-ease of the pancreas must be created by bitterness (including anger and resentment). By increasing the awareness of and gratitude for the sweetness in your life, you can eliminate the dis-ease by increasing your vibrational level. May I suggest that your spend five minutes every day writing down things that you are grateful for. Oprah calls it a “Gratitude Journal.” Gratitude and love create the highest vibrations. Have you ever been grateful to your pancreas, or other body parts, for the unseen and very important jobs they perform for you every day? I do, every day.
If you wish to honor your mother, preserve the lessons she taught you, both directly and indirectly. If she were here she would tell you, beg you, to release the poison within (which has taken the form of cancer) and to forgive. Forgiveness does not condone what was done, nor does it release the other person from what they did; it is a gift one gives to oneself, a freedom from the past’s control over you.
If you still do not believe that you are an energetic/vibrational being or that what you think, do and feel have energy, here are the facts that I compiled for my book:
Fact: We are matter.
Fact: Matter is energy and light.
Fact: Energy vibrates.
Fact: Vibrations create sound.
Fact: Sound resonates.
Fact: Resonance finds and attracts like.
Fact: You draw to you the same level of energy you put out, high or low; this is resonance.
Fact: Thought and feelings have energy.
Fact: Words have energy.
Fact: Behaviors/actions have energy.
Fact: Beliefs are often subconscious. They surface in perceptions, thoughts, feelings, words, and behavior/actions. Therefore, beliefs have energy. (Beliefs can heal or harm; placebo and nocebo experiments have proven the power of beliefs.)
Fact: Energy can never be created or destroyed, therefore, there is life after life, and our essence and consciousness are eternal.
There is one more factor I want to address which may be difficult for you to hear, and it may make you defensive; however, I would appreciate the opportunity to express it and the possibility that you will consider it. Your pancreas resides within your third chakra or solar plexus chakra. Two of the main emotional components of the third chakra are ego and self-esteem. As for ego, I think you have an excess in this area that is linked to control and anxiety. Letting go and accepting are things I think you should consider practicing.
Now as to the self-esteem: I have observed that many of the stories you tend to retell are of two types- ones of those who have wronged you and ones that build up you ego and self-esteem. When you tell stories that build up your ego, it suggests that you are looking for validation. The need for outside validation suggests a lack of self-esteem or self-acceptance. It suggests that you, in your mind, are self-critical and possibly self-abusive, and thus, look outside yourself for approval. I don’t know what you say to yourself about yourself, but I know that many of your beliefs about the world place you as a victim that you have aggressively fought against or just accepted as bad luck. May I suggest that you look at your beliefs about the world and your thoughts and feelings about yourself, and choose those that raise you up, not tear you down. I have included my book section on beliefs in hopes it will awaken you to some truths about what you believe and think.
Please consider what I have said. I want you around physically for a long time. I also want to help you evolve your spiritual being so you won’t have to come back and relive the same difficulties in order to learn the lessons you were supposed to learn this time around. I love you very much.
Love You Always,
Quotes for Thought
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. -Unknown
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder