despite its wrenching pain,
cannot be unlived,
but if faced with courage,
need not be lived again.
Before you can prevent and eliminate the patterns in your life, you must acknowledge them and declare that you would prefer something different.
Awareness will immediately change many patterns as it will change your automatic reactions into conscious responses and therefore, affect the outcome differently than before.
Acknowledge that you want to see things differently and you want things to be different.
Recognize that at every moment of every day you are choosing every thought, word and action.
Now, let’s get to work disrupting these patterns and preventing from continuing!
The Neurological/Developmental Solution: For the Underdeveloped Brain
If the issue is related one or more of the following, then you can practice these skills and learn techniques for more conscious responding and less unconscious reacting.
- delaying gratification (impulsive or looking for instant gratification)
- managing frustration
- thought control
- managing emotions
For the other areas (see Part One), get advice from older and wiser people. Seek out people who are experts in the area of your issues. For big decisions, get multiple opinions and research the facts.
The Psychological Solutions
- Repetition Compulsion: Here you have to identify and acknowledge the event from the past your subconscious is trying to ‘rewrite.’ Then you have to heal it, forgive yourself and the others involved, and accept the lessons it taught you.
- Self-Sabotage and
- Psychological Imperative have the same solutions: Identify the beliefs creating the patterns and consciously set your intention, even if the beliefs are not conscious, to replace them with their opposites.
- Subconsciously seeking satisfaction of wants, ego needs or unmet childhood needs instead of your advanced human needs:
Identify Your Needs
- Identify your ego needs and wants. If you determine that your current needs and wants are ego-driven, you will need to do some work understanding that what your ego wants is not fulfilling. Once achieved, ego needs and wants will leave you feeling empty or unfulfilled. Therefore, you will need to replace these with true, advanced needs that will satisfy your soul and spirit.
- Identify you current needs and determine whether they are true (advanced) needs or DH (developing human) needs.
If you determine that your current needs are unmet DH needs (most commonly based on gaining attention and approval) know that this makes you susceptible to any promise of satisfying these needs. Now is the time to evolve your needs and begin self-delivery.
- Chasing illusions: This will be a difficult one. Illusions may be difficult to uncover and difficult to face. You will need to identify the illusion or illusions creating the pattern and this may require professional help.
- Seeking to meet your own or someone else’s unrealistic expectations: Time to start living authentically.
- Putting others above yourself. Whether you are a people-pleaser or someone who believes others deserve more than you so, it is time for self-nurturing, self- love and knowing you are as deserving as anyone.
- Fear is subconsciously guiding your choices. Identify the fears and become aware of when fear is subconsciously guiding your choices. When this happens, you may react with anger. Unfortunately, anger is more socially acceptable than expressing the emotion anger is covering, especially for men. Uncover the emotion the anger is covering up: fear, hurt/pain and frustration and express it.
- Selective Attention: recognize that your obsession is harming you in this area. Take action to release it. This may require professional help.
- Louise Hay’s Answer: (see #3 above)
- Not Present: The answer is obvious; become present. Focusing on your breathing can help you be present at any moment, so practice this in quiet times so you know how to use it under duress.
May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
With Much Love,
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