I’m not good enough!
We already discussed how this belief may have occurred. Now let’s challenge it’s validity; it’s truth! Let’s tear down the walls this belief has bulit around you to keep people out!
I’m not good enough for what?
Who Says So?
If you’re lacking confidence and have low self-esteem, like I was, it is likely you’re holding this belief. Here is what I have learned.
- In some cases, people may have said things to us that lead us to believe this. But in most cases, it is something we came up with on our own. It is something we came to believe because we compared ourselves to other people: to the way they looked or to what they had or who they had.
- In cases of abuse, neglect and abandonment, it wasn’t you. Thebeliefs created are false and a result of assuming our treatment was a reflectionof our worth. You didn’t deserve the treatment you received and you didn’t cause it. You were dealing with someone who was damaged and/or something that had nothing to do with who you were.
- In other cases, we interpreted how people treated us as proof that we weren’t good enough. But:
- Because we teach other people how to treat us by the example of how we treat ourselves, it is our lack of self-respect, self-esteem and self-love that basically gives other people permission to treat us as badly as we treat ourselves.
- When we allow others to treat us in a disrespectful manner, it gives them permission to continue to do so. We’re responsible for the boundaries we allow and for the treatment we’re willing to accept, from ourselves and others.
When we carry this belief, we don’t have and don’t demonstrate self-respect or self-love, which people see, and follow our lead.
It is important that you understand that:
- Everyone is doing the best they have with the tools, knowledge and presence of mind they have at any given moment will help you understand that oftentimes, the treatment you received had nothing to do with you.
- Pain can cause you to misinterpret the behavior of others.
Know that this belief is harming you, your relationships and your potential success in life. Know that this belief is a false assumption you told yourself and turned into a belief as a result of your experiences: to make sense of your negative experiences. Why else would all this crap happen to me if it wasn’t because I deserved it; because I’m just not good enough? (See below.)
We all have beliefs; some of them we’re aware of and others we aren’t. We learned many of our beliefs about ourselves by how we were treated and how others reacted to us. Some things were trained to believe, while others you may have inherited by force, adopted by default or chosen to fit in.
Regardless of whether we know about them or not, they have a major impact on how our lives take shape and run. They affect us either positively or negatively. The good news is we can choose our beliefs!
By becoming aware of all our beliefs and deciding which ones help us and which ones hider or hurt us, we can change the course of our lives. We can let go of those that don’t serve us; ones that may have served a purpose earlier in our lives to keep us safe, and ones that were never helpful in the first place.
May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
With Much Love,
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