Better Than Self-Esteem: Gaining Self-Acceptance – Steps 4 -6

Posted by on September 27, 2012 | 12 comments

Congratulations on your effort thus far. By completing steps one through three, you should be getting to know yourself quite a bit better. These first steps were the easy part, now comes the real work: CHANGE.

Step#4: Now that you’ve finished list #1, review each item on the list and determine whether they are things you believe about yourself or are they things other people have told you are that you have come to believe as true. Know this: Other people’s opinions are not facts. Their opinions and comments may have hurt you but that doesn’t mean you have to internalize them into your self-concept and take them for the gospel! You can choose to believe something else.

So, take any beliefs based on another person’s opinion and create true and opposite or counter-beliefs and write them into list #2, after crossing them off list #1.

(If you need help creating a counter-belief, let me know.)

Step #5: Choose one thing on List #1 that you feel will be easy to change, conquer, eliminate, or overcome. Put it into your conscious mind that you want to change this. Create an affirmation that will help you remember or carry a dedicated reminder with you at all times.

When you have accomplished it, and you will, write the date of accomplishment next to it and cross it off the list in pencil (so you can still see what it was). Accomplishments build self-trust, self-respect and self-esteem or confidence, so as you cross things of this list you will most probably find yourself adding items to List #2.

Step #6: Choose another, then another….. Eventually, you will see that some of them are part of what make you special and others are things that you do not want to change, things that you are comfortable with and thus, accept about yourself.

Some new behaviors (thoughts, words and deeds) may take a few weeks to become new habits, if practiced regularly. Some new behaviors require certain circumstances in order to practice, so you will have to keep them in your awareness for when those situations occur.

The lists in this exercise will help you improve your self-acceptance, self-respect and self-worth.  They will help resolve conflicts within you because you will have made choices about what attributes to keep and which ones to change. They will also help you get to know yourself and discover your authentic self. The things you love and are good at (Steps 7 and 8) tell you who you truly are and help you identify, if you haven’t already, your purpose in life, your calling, your mission.

Our purpose is to love ourselves, to love what we do (and find a way to get paid for it) and share it with the world. When we can do that, our authentic light shines, and empowers and uplifts others.

Our life is always a work in progress. Be gentle with yourself as you endeavor to learn, grow, awaken and heal.

Please continue with Steps 7-9.

I am here for you if you need me.

May you perceive and receive all your blessings.

With Much Love,

Rev. Michele

Copyright © 2012 Indigo Sky, LLC; All Rights Reserved


  1. this is great, I haven’t seen anything like this before. cheers for charing

    • Thanks for posting this.

    • I just love this post. It’s got some very good tips. Really awesome.

  2. I appreciate you taking the time to create this post. It has been genuinely valuable to me.

    • nice post. good ideas.

    • well done! 🙂

    • good article

    • well done. good ideas.

    • well done!

    • good work

  3. Acceptance is pretty powerfull I think. Great post!

  4. good work!

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