Self-Forgiveness (Part 3)
Healing By Letting Go: Self-Forgiveness – Part 3
How to Forgive Yourself
There are many different methods you can choose from to release the pain, cut the tether that binds you to the source of your pain and to your past, and let go of those painful thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you. But really it all boils down to choice.
A. Start with things you did and people you have hurt, betrayed, let down, lied to… before your brain was fully developed and before you connected with your spirit. (Both of which may include your whole life up until now if you are younger than 26 years of age.) Before these two evolutionary steps occur, one does not generally have access higher levels of awareness.
- If at all possible, ask for forgiveness from the offended party. Hopefully, being forgiven will help you be able to forgive yourself.
- If that’s not possible or advisable, write a letter to them and then write back to yourself from them, from their point of view, forgiving you.
- You may also ask or pray for forgiveness from a higher power. If you are religious, surrender your burden to your deity, in silence, spoken word or writing.
- There are many ‘releasing’ or ‘letting go’ rituals and techniques.
- Literal release (balloons, sending ashes into the wind or the sea,)
- Emotional release: Talking out or journaling out your feelings and thoughts, or by writing letters.
- Visual imagery: Take the feelings created by not forgiving and put them in imaginary balloons, and release them.
- Vibrationally/Energetically: Professional or DIY energy work on your fourth/heart chakra using touch, sound, or color(green or pink) healing techniques.
- Mentally: Pay attention to your thoughts. When you “hear” any thought related to blaming yourself, guilt (internal anger), shame, or regret, replace them with gentle, compassionate thoughts, such as:
- I deserve to be free of my past mistakes. I have learned from them and I will do better in the future.
- I deserve and desire to be free of the pain my past has caused. I choose to let it go.
- I choose to treat myself with respect and compassion.
Try saying these with your eyes closed and your hands over your heart. Engage your energy, feel your vibration, feed the words into your heart.
(You can also use any of the beliefs mentioned below.)
- Now forgive yourself for every thing you’ve done after that point, if you are older than 26.* Accept that at times you were acting from fear and/pain and therefore, unthinking/thoughtless. Accept that you are a work in progress and an imperfect human being.
*If you are younger, congratulations, you will have many more years of inner peace and well-being because you are evolving your to live as spirit sooner than most!
Without the psychological, neurological and environmental or “nurture” evidence you will need to rely on choice.
- Know it takes strength and courage to forgive, and you deserve it.
- Decide you will stop living with and let go of the pain.
- Know it’s in the best interest of your physical, emotional, relational, mental, spiritual, and vibrational bodies of health.
Choose to look at the situation from a higher perspective by:
- Looking at the intentions behind the action and recognizing that there was no ill-intent, just poor impulse control, frustration tolerance and/or unconscious, reactionary behavior fueled by pain or fear should make it easier to forgive in those circumstances.
- Perceiving the act that needs to be forgiven through a filter of love, compassion and understanding.
- Looking for the potential lessons inherent in the situation and the influence it had on our path. What path did it affect, create or deny? What was the severity of the outcome?
- Recognize that every challenge is an opportunity to learn, grow, heal and/or awaken. (And never stop learning and growing.) Look for the lessons of new paths to take or messages of values to be practiced.
- Understand that our behaviors, and our wants, are driven by our needs. When the ego is driving, people get hurt. Work towards putting your true essence in the driver’s seat. Then your behavior will be driven by your compassionate, loving spirit, and no one will get hurt.
- Recognize that anger is fear, frustration or pain expressed. Answer the call for love, from yourself and others.
Hurt people hurt people. -Bill Cosby
- I am work in progress. We are all a work in progress!
- Everyone is doing the best they can with the tools, knowledge and presence of mind that have at any given moment. We are emotional beings. In situations where emotions are involved, anger, fight-or-flight instincts, fear and pain can override logical, conscious thought (“I didn’t meant to say that.”) Forgive your weaknesses and imperfections.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- Forgiveness liberates me.
- Peace and happiness are way more important to me than being right or winning.
- I am a Divine child of the Universe. I deserve all the blessings this life has to offer and I choose to receive them.
You can use the above beliefs as mantras and affirmations, as well as the above replacement thoughts, to reprogram your subconscious mind. To increase the vibrational healing, let the words wash over and through you, say words aloud; feel the energy of the words.
May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
With Much Love,
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