The first 7 things were published on Tiny Buddha by Lori Deschene. Please read them first.
- I am the only person I can control.
The expectation of change affects many relationships. Understanding and embracing this will eliminate expectations or at least create realistic expectations in your relationships.
For me, my mantra became No Expectations, No Disappointment.
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. –Sam Keen
All I can control is my thoughts, my words and my actions/behavior. My thoughts affect my feelings. When I think differently, I will see things differently and I will feel and act differently.
- Everything is a choice.
Our thoughts, or words, our reactions, and our behaviors are all the result of a choice we made. We give ourselves permission to think, say or do anything, whether we are aware of it or not. Once you recognize this, your self-control and self-discipline will improve along with your relationships.
- I create my experiences; my reality.
Each person’s individual reality is a manifestation of perceptions, expectations, fears, judgments, beliefs and desires. Things are only “good” or “bad” because that is how I perceive them. When I can perceive from a belief that everything happens for a reason (EHFAR) and that there are lessons I am here to learn, I will perceive differently.
- Every ‘problem’ is an opportunity to learn, grow, heal and/or awaken.
With this knowledge, I can actually be grateful for the difficult people and situations in my life. I can see the lessons created for me in the difficulties. This will decrease my suffering and shift my perception greatly.
- Life is about learning and growing.
The more I open myself up to new ideas, new experiences and new challenges, the more I learn and grow. I learn and grow so I may become more of who I was meant to be.
- The right way is rarely the easy way.
I become more of who I am to become as I take risks, face and release my fears, tackle challenges, resolve emotional issues, and attain goals.
- Peace and happiness are way more important to me than being right or winning.
This mantra is a way of taming the ego.
- Rejection is a sign that something wasn’t meant to be. (This answers why don’t I ever get what I want?)
There are three potential reasons for rejection, whether it is a personal, romantic or professional.
-First, there is something better I am being made available for.
-Second, what I want is not what I need. What I want is not in my best interest.
-And third, what I want is not in alignment with my values or the highest good of the universe.
Understanding this will eliminate hurt, anger (fear) and taking rejection personally.
Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. –Dalai Lama
I am a strong believer that we all need reminders to do better when emotions run high. So I strongly suggest that you copy the first seven and print them out. Carry them in your pocket (most recommended because they are always within reach) or post them where you can see them. Once they become integrated into your awareness, do the same with the other eight.
May you perceive and receive all your blessings.
With Much Love,
Rev. Michele
Copyright © 2013 Indigo Sky, LLC; All Rights Reserved
March 17, 2013 at 8:58 am
I really appreciate you writing this post, I have been trying to read it over and over anytime I am feeling down. I have always been the people pleaser type of person, I let people get away with taking me for granted a lot. I would always say it’s okay, even when it wasn’t okay. I would also feel that none of my nice gestures, or action were appreciated. I would have my friends then lose then, then have them , then lose them. I would over think everyday, it was tortureous. I would think to myself that why does history keep repeating itself, why am I treated this way? why does no one notice all these things I am doing to try and make them happy? why does everyone leave in the end, and not care? Once I read this article I felt I found all my answers. I realized that I couldn’t ever change my friend’s. The only person I could change was me, and the only person that could stop this history from repeating itself was me. I needed to take a stand, and start to love myself truly. I really stopped caring about myself, and put all my energy into people that didn’t deserve it, and defintely wouldn’t do the same for me. Thank you so much, for helping me realize that I need to love myself, and have compassion with myself over anyone else. Even though at times I slip, and over think the situation. I know at the end of the day, that I need to focus on myself. Thank you loads 🙂
March 17, 2013 at 9:09 am
Also I would like to add, that a very good way to feel better is to just forgive yourself. I realized even if I made a mistake, it doesn’t make me a bad person. I had friend’s tell me when they were angry with me that I didn’t deserve any good friend’s, that I wasn’t a good person. After reading other articles, I saw that one action of mine doesn’t have the right to put a label on me , on what type of person I am. I am still 19, and growing. The world does judge, but at the same time if I have love and compassion then my life will go a lot more smoother. I need to drain this hate and resentment in my body. I can do that my forgiving myself, and others. I hope that one day, they have the clear thinking I have. I am still growing, and I am patient with myself. It really feels great to learn to be good to yourself. As long as your heart is in the right place always that’s all that matters.
March 17, 2013 at 11:16 pm
Most excellent! Self-forgiveness is how we learn to forgive others. We are our own training ground. What we give to oursleves, we can then extend to others.
And I have to applaud you for recognizing these things at your age, this will make you a leader. Also, you will enjoy life so much sooner than those of us who don’t get it till later.
Continue to be patient with and good to yourself. You deserve it.
May peace and love be with you always,
Michele
March 17, 2013 at 11:10 pm
I am so grateful that you found so much stength and direction in my article. I also want to commend you for taking the steps to put you energy into pleasing, loving and taking care of yourself. When you put your energy into these areas of your life you will attract people who want to be around you and please you!
Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work. If there is anything I can do to help you, please do not hesitate in letting me know.
You deserve to be happy and loved, and it starts with you making that happen!
May peace and love be with you,
Michele
March 2, 2013 at 6:57 am
I just want to tell you that I’m very new to blogs and actually enjoyed this website. You certainly have good articles. With thanks for sharing.
March 6, 2013 at 9:37 pm
Thank you, Monty. I am grateful you appreciate my site and my writing. Please come back and visit again soon.
May peace and love be with you always,
Michele
January 30, 2013 at 9:40 am
I AGREE WITH YOU, BUT NOT TOTALLY. YOU STATED EVERYONE IS DOING THEIR VERY BEST AT ANY OR EVERY GIVEN MOMENT. I DISAGREE. PEOPLE CAN ALWAYS DO BETTER, DUE TO LAZINESS OR POOR SELF-WORTH, THEY CHOOSE NOT TO. YOU YOURSELF STATE “EVERYTHING IS A CHOICE”, THEREFORE, THEY ARE CHOOSING NOT TO DO BETTER. A MOTHER SMOKING CRACK INSTEAD OF FEEDING HER CHILDREN IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE, AND SHE CAN DO BETTER. A MAN, STRIKING OUT IN ANGER TO HIT HIS WIFE AND CHILD IS CHOOSING TO DO SO, AND CAN CERTAINLY DO BETTER. EVEN SOMEONE DOING WONDERFUL THINGS, LIKE SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS CELEBRITIES WHO DO BENEFITS AND SUCH, CAN GIVE MORE TIME, MONEY, EXPOSURE AND DO BETTER.
January 30, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Hi Mago,
Thank you for your comment and for the opportunity to defend my beliefs.
You left out the part about having the knowledge, tools and the presence of mind.
Not everyone has the tools or knowledge necessary to do better.
January 31, 2013 at 11:19 am
YES I AM JUDGING PEOPLE I DONT KNOW, BUT SO ARE YOU. HOW CAN YOU ASSUME ALL PEOPLE DEAL WITH ADDICTION THE SAME WAY AND CANNOT DO BETTER. BY STATING THAT, YOU PUT A CEILING ON THEIR POTENTIAL AND GIVE THEM A CRUTCH TO SAY, “SEE, EVEN THEY SAY I JUST CANT DO BETTER”. PEOPLE JUST NEED SOME MOTIVATION AND THEY WILL FIND A WAY TO DO BETTER. THEY WILL SEEK EDUCATION OR A MENTOR TO HELP THEM. EVERYONE HAS THE TOOLS AND KNOWLEDGE IN THEM SOMEWHERE, THEY JUST NEED TO ACCESS THAT INFORMATION BY SOMETHING CALLED MOTIVATION. ONCE AGAIN, I STAND BY MY STATEMENT THAT EVERYONE CAN DO BETTER AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT.
January 31, 2013 at 5:13 pm
Hi Mago,
First of all, the original statement we are discussing was not meant as an excuse for one’s self not to do better, it was meant as a guide for dealing with other people with compassion.
Addiction is a physiological disease that negatively impact mental functioning. This is a fact. Therfore, access to presence of mind, and use of tools and knowledge they may have is negated.
Rock bottom seems to be the greatest motivator for people with addiction and in general. Some people are blessed to have people in their lives who mean so much to them, that they are motivating forces. Self-motivation, especially under duress, low self-esteem and massive emotional pain seems to be limited.
Motivation is required to seek ways to do better.
We agree that this is not an absolute statement, but I stand by the whole of my statement as a general reflection of all that is guiding people in any given moment.
Peace,
Michele
January 30, 2013 at 8:06 am
Wow, what a beautiful post! I love it, thank you for your loving wisdom. Bless you xx
Tony 🙂
January 30, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Thank you, Tony, and you are most welcome.
May peace and love be with you always,
Michele